We do not know why the Dark Breakfast Abyss is empty. But by anthropic reasoning, we should conclude that it is empty for good reason. The International House of Pancakes is playing a dangerous game. If someday a remote IHOP splashes a little too much batter in their omelette, cooks the Forbidden Breakfast, and thereby brings about the end of the world, well, at least we know the Waffle House will be open.
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